wh00ps

I lost 6 lbs in 24 hours. That can't be g00d.

Countdown to Shamrock

I got called out. I didn't think it was going to happen, but it did. Life is like that sometimes. I'm getting ahead of myself. This story began last month. The Winter Solstice has always been a special time. For thousands of years pagans / druids / astrologers / sun worshipers / morons have cast mystical powers to this darkest of days. Not me. The Winter Solstice means one thing in my life... Time to start thinking about the most important sporting event of the year. That's right. The Shamrock Shuffle.

Yeah, I know it isn't until March. Its months away before the world turns its eye to the sleepy berg of Eau Claire, WI. But something primal happens when the sunlight returns. The timing is unfortunate. Christmas time is a time of celebration, of Comfort and Joy, Glad Tidings of Salvation to all mankind! With every c00kie I get a little slower. Eggnog expands the belly whilst dampening the fire within. In short God rested this merry gentleman but g00d.

As I went over the river I heard it. As I went through the w00ds I felt it. As I went back and forth to the refrigerator it gnawed at my gut. MumblingSages is out there. He plans. He trains. He puts fancy backgrounds and ads on his blog. He lurks. (more of a lurch than a lurk really). Then bammo!!! He called me out.

Yeah, ok technically I fired the first salvo with a "Fhatty" text that ruined his New Years Day breakfast, but texting and blogs are worlds apart in the chessgame that is Shamrock Smack Talk. A phone-phone text is black-ops behind enemy lines. A blog post is a diplomat "leaking" to foreign press that the Queen is not amused. His mistake was sending the Prime Minister down to read the post before the Faceb00k UN Security Council. He must realize, this means war.