I got memed. So it goes.

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.
I don't know the d00d's name, but I was watching Phenomenon last night. One of the contestants came out and l00ked anguished. During this time he channeled some dead d00d to tell him what was in the box on stage. His hand "auto wrote" in mirrored letters a vague description and of course he got it right. The judges/panelists/commentators were famed charlatan Uri Geller and some d00d named Chris Angel. After the performance Chris pulls out an envelope from his pocket and says he will give $1 million to the contestant or co-panelist Uri if either can tell him what is in the envelope. The contestant accused Mr. Angel of being a bigot and the Seacrest equivalent had to step in to prevent fisticuffs. I'd like to think the confrontation wasn't staged, but I am afraid to. It certainly was funny tho.

2. What were you doing at 0800?
Discovering that klund memed me.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
0800 was 20 minutes ago.

4. What happened to you in 2006?
I am a stay at home dad. Absolutely nothing happened to me in 2006.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
"Are you going to put a shirt on before you go to sk00l?"

6. How many beverages did you have today?
1/2 diet Coke and counting.

7. What color is your hairbrush?
Real men don't own hairbrushes. They use their wife's. Its white.

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
$65 worth of 89 octane.

9. Where were you last night?
We finished trick-or-treating at Pastor Mueller's house. We invited ourselves in and drank his wine.

10. What color is your front door?
Kinda tannish beige.

11. Where do you keep your change?
In a trash can in my closet.

12. What’s the weather like today?
It l00ks sunny out. Maybe high of 50 if we are lucky.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
Vanilla

14. What excites you?
Quiet.

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
Nope. I let my wife do that.

16. Are you over the age of 25?
Yup

17. Do you talk a lot?
No.

18. Have you watched any television series, regularly, to which you be ashamed to admit your regular viewership? What was your favorite episode?
NO. I watch "My Name is Earl" and am PROUD of it. I love the episode where Joy calls Earl a "dummy".

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
When I was a junior in high school, our basketball team was able to have two Steve's on the court at a time. Does that make me cool? One of them got a hummer from a cheerleader on the bus ride back from a game. I am pretty sure that made him cool.

20. Do you make up your own words?
Frueq no!!

21. Are you a jealous person?
Yep.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
Ok I have 5 friends. Brent, Tim, Mark, and Kevin. None start with A

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Wow, drawing a blank.

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
I think its an insurance agent, but the phone is beyond my immediate reach.

25. What does the last text message you received say?
Please call.

26. Do you chew on your straw?
I use it to pick my teeth.

27. Do you have curly hair?
Mr. King C. Gillette solved that problem.

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Pick up a kid from Government sk00l.

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Kevin. He's a bastard.

30. What was the last thing you ate?
A king size snicker bar. It was really satisfying.

31. Will you get married in the future?
My wife and I are going "skiing" in Utah this winter. We shall see what happens.

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
Hitch

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
I like me. Somebody should.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Last night.

35. Are you currently depressed?
Nope

36. Did you cry today?
Nope

37. Why did you answer and post this?
Monkey see Monkey do.

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
pffft. What makes you think I know five losers with nothing better to do.


Feel free to change out one of these questions for anything else you want to ask and answer.

Super Tornado

Yesterday was Tuesday again which is code for bowling night. I showed up early to pick up the shoes I ordered and figure out what kind of ball I need. Well, the shoes are a bland new model and are on backorder, which means they are popular. I have yet to determine if that means I am a trend setter or a trend follower. I think I must be the former as I am not observant enuff to have noticed if anybody else at league had a pair like them.

I don't mind waiting an extra week for the shoes, but I am getting nervous about finding a ball. Everybody says you can't score well throwing a straight ball and you can't make a house ball h00k. Also, it seems the heaviest ball you can get is 16lbs, but they are difficult to wield. Real men throw a 16lb ball. Candy-arses throw a 15lb ball. I bowled 191 my last game last week with a 12 pound house ball, so I am thinking I have potential to be a pretty g00d bowler.

Rick runs ye olde pro-shoppe at the bowling alley. He t00k me out to the lanes early and watched me throw. Then he lent me a 14lb ball that I could h00k a little, half the time. He told me to use it in league and I should do much better than last week. The ball was so heavy that I couldn't throw it the same way twice. Sometimes it would h00k, some times it wouldn't. I had no idea where the ball was going to go. Last weeks series I scored 448, last night I threw 350.

The saga continues.

HOLY BALLS

My signed me up to bowl in a league with the boyfriend of one of her friends. The first night I bowled 448 in a 3 game series. I ordered shoes, and I will be test driving balls next Tuesday. This is so unlike me.

Does this count as getting published?

Monday March 5th Garage Logic started with Joe reading my letter on-air.

http://www.am1500.com/podcasts/index.shtml#garage

Hunting progress

Last year I set out a salt block to attract deer to my deer stand. It didn't work. Giving up, I moved the block away and forgot about it for a few months. Then I noticed something interesting. The dirt around the block had been torn up. Apparently deer don't lick the salt block, but over time rain water washes the salt into the dirt. The deer dig up the dirt to get to the salt and ignore the block. So this summer I moved the block to within range of a deer stand to see if anthing would happen. Weeks passed. Months passed. Today I saw this:

You can clearly see where deer have been pawing at the earth to get the salt. This photo was taken approximately 10 yards from a deer stand. Hopefully the deer will return once the season is open. Other than this, I haven't seen evidence of deer in the yard beyond a few tracks. Still no scat, rubs, scrapes, or live sightings. However, the family dog

has been giving her "deer in the yard" bark with increasing frequency. As yet, I haven't seen the deer that sets her off, but it probably bolts before I can get to the window to look. The DNR is going to let me shoot very soon. I think 9/17 is the first day of legal shooting. I'll be out of town, of course, but I am getting excited about sitting in the woods for ours on end cursing squirrels.

Pumpkins Galore!!!

Galore is gaelic for three(3), right? Here are the pics of my previous pumpkins as of today.

The big leaves wilted and revieled a third pumpkin!!! Oh joy!!! Oh rapture!! That means I have successfully grown one(1) pumpkin for each member of my family. That is, of course, assuming that I don't count and get aced out.

Pumpkin watch update

Here is this weeks picture of the pumpkin:

It is starting to elongate with the pointy end on the bottom. It is less yellow now. The orange is starting to come in. The stem hasn't started to turn brown yet so I suppose it has a while to grow. Its still about 10 inches in diameter, but its closer to 12 inches tall. For my next update I'll have to pull out a tape measure to be more accurate. So far measurements are approximate.

Surprise Surprise. I found another pumpkin in the patch!!! I thought I only had one, but here is a second:

It is a little smaller and GREEN! Clearly this must be a different variety. I wonder if it will develop a waffle pattern from growing against the fence. Someday I am going to keep records of what I plant where. In the meantime I will continue to bask in the wonder that a handfull of seeds and a short term memory can afford.

Hopefully one of these will be ready in time for Halloween. Stay tuned to see.

Pumpkin watch

I have never successfully grown pumpkins. This year may be different. As a document of my success and a test case for publishing pics on a blog, I will attempt to keep you updated with my progress.

Hard to tell from the pic but the pumpkin is nearly round with a ten inch diameter. I planted four pumpkin plants and got 3 pumpkins. The other 2 are about the size of a baseball and wrinkly. I have given up on this. I have named this gourd, Obi-wan Kenobi as it is my only hope.

Be vewy vewy qwiet...........

I am declaring deer hunting season to be here!!! Wisconsin DNR claims bow season doesn't begin untill mid-September and gun-season not till November. All they can control is when I can legally shoot. Deer hunting is so much more than shooting deer. How do I know the season is here? Well, I walked through my backyard last night. I found myself looking for deer sign, and was surprized and a little disappointed that I didn't see any. So stay tuned to this page and I'll provide updates on my progress. Things I will be looking for:

scat
rubs
scrapes
tracks
trails
deer

I have to admit that I did see tracks last night, but that doesn't really count, as there are always deer tracks somewhere.

Today's deer hunting plan includes finding my archery target, bow, arrows, field tips. If I am feeling ambitious I may even prep the bow to be fired. Maybe I'll save that for tomorrow. Its early in the season and I don't want to get burned out.

Zions and Tigers and Bears......

A fellow named Scooter recently blogged this onward-christian-soliders and it reminded me of my long standing confusion over the terms 'Zion', 'Zionist', et. al. So I looked them up. According to Dictionary.com, Zion means simply :

"a. The historic land of Israel as a symbol of the Jewish people.
b. The Jewish people; Israel."

Ok, I can grasp that. Furthermore Zionist means :

"A Jewish movement that arose in the late 19th century in response to growing anti-Semitism and sought to reestablish a Jewish homeland in Palestine. Modern Zionism is concerned with the support and development of the state of Israel."

That too, seems straightforward. Here is the part that confuses me. The only time I hear these words used is in the entertainment media, and it always has a negative connotation. But its a negative connotation spouted by an unsavory character. Usually, some greasy, hunched over, churl is cursing, through his bespittled maw, the "Zionist dogs" and their evil ways. My confusion is compounded by the plotline having nothing whatever to do with the establishment/support of the state of Israel. Was our greasy churl attempting to undermine the state of Israel and I missed it? Is it just an epithet hurled out of failure and anti-Semitism? Do Zionists call themselves Zionists?

Maybe I would be less confused if I knew more Jews. I think I only know one. I might know more, but I never think to ask. The one I know, I don't know very well. I am loathe to ask him to clarify, lest I offend.

I saw it coming but I didn't say anything.

I had a feeling that Venus was going to beat The Couch today even though she is technically an underdog. I know it shouldn't happen. The Couch strikes the ball mechanically better than anyone on the women's tour today. Venus makes me cringe everytime she swings. Somehow, though, she manages to play incredible tennis. I guess it comes down to athleticism and timing. After seeing her beat Sharapova in the previous round I was certain Venus was going to win. In the final, Venus had a Championship Point against, and I said to no one, "She is still going to win this. Thc Couch just can't move.

So I am going to make a prediction now for the men's final. Federer will beat Roddick. I was going to give reasons but after reading my above paragraph I realized that I am too tired to be cogent. So, I'll stick to my prediction and let the reader assume that the reasons are obvious even to the most casual of observers.

I have so little joy in my life.

One of the very few things I have to look forward to is the second week of Wimbledon. During this glorious period, Wimbledon Update on NBC is squeezed between local news and Tonight show reruns. Why does my local news feel compelled to lessen the experience by concluding their sportscast with their own recap of Wimbledon. Wouldn't make more sence to simply say "'Stay tuned for Wimdledon Update immediately after 'NewsCenter13'". Its not like they are in the habit of giving tennis news. Once they have removed the bloom from the rose, the only thing I have to look forward to on the Update is Mr. Carillo fawning over Gollum.

Am I the only American who has grown tired of John McEnroe?

I read a book

I stumbled across a new Robert Asprin book at the library. Its called 'Wartorn: Resurrection' and its co-authored with some other dude whose name escapes me. I became a fan of Asprin's spoofy Myth fantasy series when I was in my early teens. I lost interest in his schtick after a few books (I am having the same problem with Lemony Snicket). Well, 'Wartorn' claims to be book one in a series and it played as straight fantasy.

The copyright is from this year so I realize book two might be a while. Unfortunately, his publisher gives no info, nor does it even acknowlege the book I have as being written. I find that to be frustrating.

New Leinie's

As a subscriber in good standing to the Leinienkugel newsletter, I was recently asked to complete an online survey. It turns out they are doing market research for (at least) two new beers. They showed me pictures of bottles of Hefe-wiesen and a Cran-apple flavored brew. I apologise for not grabbing a screen-shot while I had the chance. Maybe I can find them in a temp file somewhere, but that would take effort. They asked me over-and-over how likely I was to buy them at various price points. I have not seen either of these in the stores yet. I will likely try each for free at the Leinie Lodge, which is conveinently located 20mins from my house. However, I don't think they have been made available yet. Keep your eyes peeled and let me know if either is any good.

Time keeps on slippin slippin

http://www.longnow.org

Poker

I made ten bucks playing Omaha hold'em with 'the guys' tonight. Doesn't cover the munchies they ate, but it could have been worse.

Fear the Fro

So, to my utter amazement, the Vikings beat the Packers in the playoffs. Randy Moss was even well behaved about it. This is the first time since I've moved to Wisconsin that I've wished that I had a job. I find myself longing for the meaninless hallway convesations. I love eavesdropping on Viking vs Pack arguements, but I despise being in one. I suppose I don't join in because, in my lifetime, the Vikings have never been much to crow about. This is the point of the year that we are supposed to think, "Hey, the Vikes have a serious shot!" But, being the Vikes, we know they will disappoint us. I wish them well, but I can't climb on the bandwagon untill the purple is up by 22 points with a minute thirty left in the SuperBowl. It will take that much for me to believe. For now I can only relish in the Packers' loss. To be honest, their loss is much better than the Vikings win. I can be happy that another year will pass without a Pack championship. Yes, having them bumped by the Vikes is a sweet bonus. I will savor them being a little quieter at church this coming Sunday before the game, but I dread the noise the following week when I'll get to hear about how the Pack would never lose 54-3 to the Eagles.

Prizzi's Honor

I just read the book. It was pretty good. I bought it about five years ago from a second hand book shop because they did not have "Ethel the Ardvark goes Quantity Surveying". If you can get past the Italian (Sicilian?)/mob words (the book should have a glossary for those of us that have never been within 500 miles of anyone in "The Environment") its a fun read.

P.S. I never saw the movie. Maybe I will now.

Shameless bragging.

patent apps

Who won the VP Debate

Did anybody watch the VP debate? I havn't heard who won. I realise that a VP debate is kinda like kissing your brother, but I would like to know the outcome. I was going to watch it live, but the Twins were playing the hated Yankees. I was going to tape it, but I pretended that I forgot. I stumbled across it the next night being rebroadcast late on PBS. I was going to watch it then, but I'd hate to get started in the middle. Unfortunately, I stumbled into it right at the beginning. I had no choice but to give it a try. I listened to Edwards answer one question. I listened to Cheney answer one question. I decided to wait for the media to tell me what to think. The media dropped the ball. I HAVEN'T HEARD WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO THINK!!!! I can only imagine that means that Cheney won and nobody wants to admit it. Of course this is conjecture. I am not a responsible enough voter to have watched myself. So I need you-all (<---- I hear Katie Couric say you-all a lot so it must be proper even though it grates on the ears, even when you read it) to tell what to think. Are you up to the challenge?